So what does it really mean when a guy says he misses you? I have three daughters, so I have though long and hard on how to give them the best advice about this.
We’ve all been in situations where we’ve said those three words, “I miss you,” to someone special. But let let’s be honest, sometimes it’s not as straightforward as it seems with us men.
When a guy says He misses you, most times He probably means it, but it can be hard to distinguish between genuine emotions and manipulative behavior. He may not even know be clear on the intention.
In this blog, we’ll dive into what it really means when a guy says he misses you and how to distinguish between genuine emotions and manipulative behavior. So, let’s get to the bottom of this and decode the intentions behind those words!
¨All men will change, but only for one woman¨
What It Means When a Guy Says He Misses You
You know how it is, guys – saying “I miss you” can have different meanings. We could be saying it genuinely from the heart, showing genuine feelings and affection.
On the other hand, it might be a tactic to get the girls attention or manipulate the situation to get what we want. So, it’s essential to consider the context and the guy’s behavior to figure out what he truly means.
If you are a teenage boy, even if you think you mean it you are probably just trying to get laid. If this is not the case, you don’t actually know what you are doing, you’re just trying to get some attention from a girl.
I’d like to say that when we grow up we know better, but a lot of men dont keep up with their personal development, and carry these toxic behaviors with them into adulthood.
So when a guy says he misses you, take a look at the rest of His life. Does he have himself in order, or at least aiming at something greater. Is He sensible, does he read and have his thoughts in order, can he cook, does he wash his own clothes.
What I am getting at is, if a man doesn’t have the rest of His life in order, he could using the woman as his focal point of all that is good in His life. This ¨I miss you¨ comes more from a place of desperation.
A man that has His life in order is busy, so the time set apart for the girlfriend is factored into a schedule, so when a guy says He misses you and He has his shit together, He means it.
Reasons Why a Guy Says He Misses You
Genuine Feelings: As we mentioned, genuine feelings come when you have the rest of yourself in order. A genuine ¨I miss you¨ from a guy is usually followed up with a plan to see you, to do something together, pick you up from work, any activity to be around you when convenient.
Hoping for Reciprocal Feelings: We can be big and tough, but men like to be cared for at times too. It doesn’t have to be anything over the top, a rub on the back, a smile when we tell you we miss you.
I feel men mostly need validation that we are making a woman feel good, and this makes us feel as good as can be. Sometimes though, we really do just miss you and want to let you know, doesn’t always have to be a motive.
How to Respond to a Guy Saying He Misses You
From a guys perspective, what would I like a girl to say when I tell her I miss her. I miss you too is an obvious response if it’s true of course, and I appreciate that.
The perfect response for me would be something like ¨It’s nice to know you think about me when I’m not there¨. Thats not about me, it’s me wanting to know that my actions make her happy.
If you feel the same way, don’t hesitate to express your feelings honestly. It’s always nice to know that our feelings are reciprocated. But if you don’t feel the same, don’t stress.
We also like facts, so if we did something wrong, or if you did something wrong and you want to let us know why you don’t miss us, just let us know. The not knowing is a killer for men.
Oh if you as the woman don’t feel like you are in that space yet, a neutral answer is the best. So ¨ahh, thats nice of you¨, ¨I thought about our date the other night too, had a great time¨.
So not completely deflecting it, and also letting the guy know you like spending time with Him, but you are not quite in the same space yet.
How to tell if a Man misses you
He’s Not Overdoing It: A guy that really misses you won’t be texting you he misses you all day long. First, he should be smart enough to understand overusing dilutes. Second, a good man should be busy for most of the day anyway, not playing on his phone all day.
Constant Contact: We won’t bother you all through the day, but we will find the right moments and ways to let you know we are thinking about you.
A picture of lunch, a nice view we see we might just send a picture over to you, and a call at the end of the day to see how you are doing. Then as it progresses this all evolves.
Video Calls or FaceTime: I am more of an in person type of guy, but if that is not an option, someone that really misses you is going to want to see your face now that video calls exist.
Engaging on Social Media: Some may say them liking your posts, commenting on your pictures is a good thing, but I am opposed to this. Social media interactions feel impersonal to me, but, each to their own.
I wouldn’t go putting all your eggs in the basket of a guys who’s primary source of information is social media though, just saying.
Making Efforts to Meet: When a man is serious about a girl, he will find time believe me. A well put together man will have a schedule and not a lot of time is wasted, so if a man takes the time to see you, and you know he leads a busy life, he misses you for real.
But, you shouldn’t get annoyed if a man cannot see you at a certain time if the conflict is something to do with the betterment of his life. A lot of women will say ¨because that is more important¨ and you are right, it is.
If I am able to get a high value woman like yourself, I had to do a lot more than the average man to become a high value man right, and it takes certain sacrifices to get there, so don’t demonize a busy man if He is making time for you.
Sudden Shyness: You may note a sudden change in some guys behaviors, they may all of a sudden go a little quiet. Some men need to time to process their emotions, and need a little push to do so. Don’t wait too long though, work through your feelings so you don’t leave women on a string.
Something else to be said is, a more secure and well put together man when you meet them wont have this problem so much. A man thats secure in himself knows how he feels and will say so without worry.
Just have to decide if you want a work in progress, or a man that has already dealt with that part of his emotions.
Drunk Calls: Okay, this might not be the most elegant move, but sometimes, we’ll get a bit emotional after a few drinks and call you just to express how much we miss you. In general I don’t like these type of guys that need to lower their inhibitions to speak their feelings.
Displaying Jealousy: Yep, we might get a tad jealous when you’re hanging out with other guys. A little bit of jealousy is fine and actually needed, A few jokes here and there are expected.
If a man makes a playful remark about you and a guy friend, theres some intent there but its mostly playful. If a guy is phoning you every 10 minutes when you are out with friends, stay away.
Asking for Casual Pictures: And not the explicit kind, like a picture of you lying in a park, on a beach, just out of the gym. If a man is asking you for casual pictures of you, we really care.
We might show of the best pics of you on Instagram, but we really just want the most natural picture of you, the way we like women the most.
Burst of Emotions: Grown men can act like kids sometimes, we know this. If we behave little spoilt when you have to cancel at the last moment and we haven’t seen you for a week, it’s becuase we miss you, thats just our jerk reaction.
Give it two minutes and we will tell you as much anyway, ¨Like sorry, it just cause I miss you, how about next week?¨
Going Down Memory Lane: If you’ve only been together for a short period of time and we are already talking to you about the date we had 4 days ago like it’s a happy memory we have always had, then the guy really misses you.
We only really hold on to information that interests us, that makes unhappy or that is useful. There’s a reason we can remember where every single hidden item is in Zelda from like 20 years ago.
We have good memories, just selective ones.
Joyful Reunion: We as men do try to hide our initial emotions, we don’t like to be caught of guard. We can see a friend after a year and suppress a smile, but not with girl we really like.
If a guy hasn’t seen you for a while, when you meet up with him it’s gonna be pretty hard for him to fake a smile. Watch his reaction and see the whole body language change. If he can’t hold a smile in when he see’s you, he genuinely misses you.
Showing Interest: I said before, we only care about what interests us. If a man goes out of his way to ask you about things you do outside of work, your hobbies, goals, ambitions, genuinely takes an interest in your overall lifestyle, he cares about you a lot.
Signs He’s Faking It and Doesn’t Really Miss You:
Lack of Attention: If a guy is not really paying attention to anything about you other than your physical presence, it’s like he doesn’t miss you that much.
We don’t have to ask you about every facet of you life, but just knowing what is going on in general with you is something a guy that misses you would be interested in.
Ignoring or Delayed Responses: Don’t get caught up in getting an instant response. Just becuase you see the message has been read, you have to take in to account the person may be busy.
That being said, a man that misses you will find the time in the day will find the time to respond to you. A quick voice note, a little emoji, something to let you know we are are aware, just busy.
No Future Plans: Id a guy is just telling you He misses you, but never making plans o see you this can be a red flag.
If I meet a girl and I’m really into her, I will look forward in the week, and be sure I have some time planned for her. So don’t just listen to the words, make sure the guy is putting them into action.
Late-Night Confessions: be careful if a guy is only telling you he misses you when he is lonely. A man should miss you when he is at his happiest, this way you know you are an addition to everything else that is already positive.
If you are only a though when there is nothing else better going on, then the feelings may not be genuine.
Fear of Commitment: A guys fear of commitment can cause them no to not miss you at all. If we don’t see a future with a woman, then it’s just something for the time being.
If you as a woman are into something casual then this is perfect, but the ¨I miss you¨ is not going to be as genuine as you may hope.
Keeping You Hidden: You don’t expect to meet the whole family the first week, but after a few dates its likely you will meet up with a group of friends.
If you are only ever going places alone, and you get the feeling the guys is keeping you away from his inner circle, he probably doesn’t miss you when you are not there.
We include women we think we can have a future with in plans with our friends. We want to see how they get along, if they fit in the friend group, but if you are never invited then you may never be a part of it.
No Time for You: A guy who genuinely misses you will make time for you when you need him. If he consistently cancels plans, it might be a red flag.
Remember, guys, being honest and genuine in our feelings is crucial when we say we miss someone.
What does it mean when a guy says he misses you?
When a guy says he misses you, it could mean that he genuinely likes you and is thinking of you. It can also be that they want to take the relationship to a more stable level.
How should I respond if a guy says he misses me too?
Well if you feel the same way, just say so really, otherwise you can deflect it with a nice comment.
What if I don’t feel the same way when he says he misses me?
It is always best to tell us the truth. You don’t have to be brutal, but you can say you are not in the same space yet, or just don’t say anything at all.
How do I know if he genuinely misses me or is just saying it?
Pay attention to his behavior and consistency. A guy who genuinely misses you won’t overdo it with the phrase, and subtly make you a part of their life.
Is it normal for a guy to get jealous when he misses me?
It’s a common reaction when someone cares deeply about you. However, it’s essential to communicate openly about feelings of jealousy to ensure a healthy relationship.
Should I be concerned if he makes drunk calls expressing his feelings?
I’m not much of a drinker, but I think it’s pretty obviously a red flag if a guy only pays attention to you when he is not in the best state of mind.
Are there signs that a guy might be faking his “I miss you” statements?
Yeah this should be pretty obvious once you know what to pay attention to. If we are not including you in our plans, telling you we miss you like a throw-away comment, not being interested when spend time together. All good indications of insincerity.
How can I determine if his “I miss you” is genuine or manipulative?
Well if a guy tells you he misses you all the time, then when he sees you all he wants to do is sneak away somewhere quiet, the intentions are pretty clear.
If you are young and just learning about all of this, you don’t have the experience to know what the consequences of your behaviors can be, but you will learn in time.
The most important thing, no matter your age is to work on yourself. Make yourself the best possible version you can be and you will be strong enough to deal with any type of frustration life may bring you.
It’s essential to be aware that not everyone might have the same intentions. So, trust your instincts, observe his actions, and communicate openly to understand what he truly means when he says he misses you. Stay true to yourselves and remember to value your own feelings and emotions.